I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
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so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
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The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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