on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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