I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
How naked do you want me to be?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
