The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
