Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
