Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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