We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
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Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
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We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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