Nicole vs. Life
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
