Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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