someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This is my gift to your gina
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize