Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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