Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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