Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
