Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
