How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
