I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
