all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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