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Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We need a shit load of segways right now
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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