Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
try to milk me bitch
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