Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
