So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize