so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
