How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
