I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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