every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
