I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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