Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize