I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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