that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
