I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
