Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
