They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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