Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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