yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
