69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I think I am morally bankrupt
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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