Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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