I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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