i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
