Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
