So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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