she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
