I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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