omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
