why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
