i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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