just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
