my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
