We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
