if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
