so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
