tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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