it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
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I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
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Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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