Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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