It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize