Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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