she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books