Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u

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  (734): I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u http://tfl.nu/md4z
  Replies (11) Good night (7323) Bad night (1563)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.

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  (804): my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it. http://tfl.nu/l9cy
  Replies (18) Good night (4731) Bad night (659)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.

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  (902): Her vagina smelled like hockey gear. http://tfl.nu/kiqt
  Replies (39) Good night (716) Bad night (7029)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed

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  (781): I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed http://tfl.nu/sznd
  Replies (127) Good night (129212) Bad night (3400)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am

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  (610): i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am http://tfl.nu/0mrv
  Replies (6) Good night (4941) Bad night (882)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.

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  (502): he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel. http://tfl.nu/c4zc
  Replies (42) Good night (1574) Bad night (4909)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?

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  (251): how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her? http://tfl.nu/cyj5
  Replies (23) Good night (1837) Bad night (4223)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.

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  (920): The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila. http://tfl.nu/42di
  Replies (8) Good night (1505) Bad night (3984)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself

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  (905): i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself http://tfl.nu/s870
  Replies (6) Good night (3621) Bad night (1138)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.

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  (337): Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one. http://tfl.nu/xgt0
  Replies (1) Good night (1125) Bad night (587)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!

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  (319): I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing! http://tfl.nu/3rw3
  Replies (3) Good night (1155) Bad night (500)
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  (650): View more from California

  That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.

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  (650): That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands. http://tfl.nu/y7oo
  Replies (2) Good night (335) Bad night (1083)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.

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  (469): Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg. http://tfl.nu/v8uq
  Replies (5) Good night (1280) Bad night (437)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor

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  (205): he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor http://tfl.nu/c6qy
  Replies (4) Good night (617) Bad night (393)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.

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  (832): I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie. http://tfl.nu/pzlb
  Replies (0) Good night (230) Bad night (346)

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