Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.

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  (845): It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot. http://tfl.nu/ztf1
  Replies (69) Good night (4115) Bad night (674)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  our cab driver is having phone sex.

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  (773): our cab driver is having phone sex. http://tfl.nu/18ax
  Replies (18) Good night (5337) Bad night (2182) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.

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  (318): No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair. http://tfl.nu/ztjm
  Replies (10) Good night (1301) Bad night (3658) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock

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  (713): I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock http://tfl.nu/svlq
  Replies (8) Good night (1071) Bad night (3234)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.

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  (813): im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots. http://tfl.nu/i8ur
  Replies (5) Good night (3883) Bad night (1409) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.

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  (605): After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it. http://tfl.nu/6bjl
  Replies (6) Good night (2151) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?

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  (757): so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you? http://tfl.nu/s3jk
  Replies (7) Good night (2806) Bad night (763) Order T-Shirt
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  (554): View more from

  No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted

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  (554): No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted http://tfl.nu/praq
  Replies (12) Good night (2142) Bad night (928) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn

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  (303): its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn http://tfl.nu/fhqp
  Replies (12) Good night (2719) Bad night (1124) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"

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  (312): I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day" http://tfl.nu/qds9
  Replies (5) Good night (1340) Bad night (1241)
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  (661): View more from California

  There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.

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  (661): There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind. http://tfl.nu/kx07
  Replies (9) Good night (1629) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.

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  (403): also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy. http://tfl.nu/tn0z
  Replies (15) Good night (3623) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry

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  (804): Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry http://tfl.nu/mjn0
  Replies (5) Good night (1388) Bad night (501) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.

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  (904): But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast. http://tfl.nu/ubtv
  Replies (7) Good night (1379) Bad night (405)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.

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  (787): It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life. http://tfl.nu/p96v
  Replies (1) Good night (444) Bad night (143) Order T-Shirt

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