his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
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you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
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I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory