Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure http://tfl.nu/j4nn
  Replies (12) Good night (3021) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober. http://tfl.nu/1ay2
  Replies (44) Good night (3501) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be. http://tfl.nu/p5e9
  Replies (37) Good night (1093) Bad night (4987)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): And whoever invented the condom should be put to death. http://tfl.nu/pkgn
  Replies (81) Good night (1202) Bad night (10039)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened http://tfl.nu/8g9n
  Replies (5) Good night (4227) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink. http://tfl.nu/zmqp
  Replies (13) Good night (4639) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair. http://tfl.nu/vnaz
  Replies (3) Good night (2458) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire? http://tfl.nu/pmju
  Replies (3) Good night (1384) Bad night (1910)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not. http://tfl.nu/n7ii
  Replies (12) Good night (3069) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to. http://tfl.nu/ot3b
  Replies (2) Good night (1721) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer. http://tfl.nu/iky6
  Replies (22) Good night (2730) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape. http://tfl.nu/bbp9
  Replies (5) Good night (1605) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  our poor poor cab driver

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight" (610): our poor poor cab driver http://tfl.nu/cgof
  Replies (7) Good night (1109) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one? (1-706): You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome. http://tfl.nu/97og
  Replies (4) Good night (811) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize. http://tfl.nu/3mfn
  Replies (2) Good night (419) Bad night (169)

Randomize