sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
