for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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