i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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