so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
