3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
