Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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