This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
