And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
