Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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