I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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