She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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