Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
